How Did I End Up Here?

Ever find yourself asking that question?Yesterday I was in a Funk.It was as if a cloud of sadness was hovering above my head and I couldn't shake it away from my surroundings.I didn't feel like there was anyone I could talk to that would understand FULLY where I was coming from. The one person that I felt I could talk to that would understand my circumstance and my perspective now has a great deal of their own to worry about. Some how they picked up the phone and called me.We talked, I cried, we talked some more. I felt better knowing someone understood what was going on. There aren't many people that you could talk to without having barriers or guards up. Having a friend where you can be 100% vulnerable, transparent and know that everything will stay there is hard to find - especially in this era of social media and over sharing.Let me post that I'm not feeling happy on social media and many people will talk about why I should be happy and grateful. I do believe there is a time and place for everything. And sometimes - I'm guessing - there will be moments of sadness.I ask how did I end up here because I told myself I wouldn't stay at a job if it made me miserable. Yet here I am. I said I wouldn't remain in a cubicle - yet here I am.I've made compromise after compromise which allowed me to slowly but surely do more things I vowed to myself I wouldn't do. I started working at the age of 14, and growing up I saw how stressed my mom was. I knew she enjoyed working as a seamstress more than anything else. Today I found her watching a youtube video looking at dresses to make. All these years have gone and she still desires to do the same thing.The other day I wrote about how fear paralyzes us. That we aren't to operate from that place. And it doesn't do us any good. I stand by that.I am in a bit of a better place. I'm still  a little sad but I know that I'll be ok. I'f you are reading this post from FaceBook - I've deleted the app from my phone. If you need to reach me contact me via my cell, or my email. Otherwise leave a comment and I'll get back to you when I am in better spirits.