grocery lists

who gets excited over a grocery list?

I did. My mom was able to write down a few items that she needed for the house. I see it as improvement in her memory of word recognition. Since her stroke, its been a slow recovery. It’s a reminder to me about patience, faith, and hope. In the fast pace of the world we tend to forget just how important it is to slow down.

Her stroke affected her speech, and memory of words, letters, numbers, — she forgot how to do mathematics.

I also believe her vision is slightly blurred.

It’s constant adapting and relearning.

When she is outside of therapy, we are using YouTube to teach her. The next step is to incorporate flash cards, and handouts that they used to give us in kindergarten and first grade.

 

Today marks a week

Today marks a week since my mom had a stroke. And there’s been so much that I’ve learned in these past few days.

  • the things that used to annoy me about my mom I now appreciate. Like the singing and humming – it reminds me that she’s happy and joyful.
  • hearing her call my name – but now she calls me my brother and sisters name.
  • seeing her smile – because seeing her cry makes me sad.
  • having her sew for me because seeing her hand weakened makes me remember we have gifts that need to be used.

Part of me wishes I stayed in bio – but I know that’s not what I was interested in. I enjoyed studying science and learning about nutrition – but I couldn’t and still can’t stand the sight of blood.

this experience has me thankful for some of the little moments with my mom. the constant reflection, the incoming of love from friends and family.

Hospitals

I walked through the door and the first thing I noticed was a phone on the couch. It wasn’t an iPhone, so I knew it wasn’t my sisters. My mom hardly spends time in the living room and her phone was much smaller. So who was here? Or did someone forget their phone?

I touched the screen to take a look, and check if there were any missed calls or a recognizable photo. None.

I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom sitting on the recliner chair and the nurses aid that was usually at the house for the morning shift.

Whats going on?

stroke, I had a stroke. I just looked at my mom in disbelief. Why was she still home, why didn’t she go to the hospital? Why is she smiling? Her speech, it’s slurred,

what is going

is going

going

 

on?!!!

The aid took it back for me and walked me through the story again, she was at church, about to read a verse, and noticed her tongue was heavy. she couldn’t speak. then she called her job, to tell them she couldn’t come in. and she came home – wait did she drive? I missed that detail – and she laid down. But she’s fine.

After relentlessly trying to tell my mom to go to the hospital, I picked up the phone and began to call my relatives.

Then my brother called. Then he came over.

And it was Around this time last night, My brother came over to take my mom to the hospital. Just a few hours before that I was coming home from work feeling great that I had spent a few extra hours to extend my learning of building using corrugated boards for displays.

only for everything to get turned upside down.

My boyfriend came over and stayed with me until about midnight. Then I decided to go to bed.

I eventually fell asleep. And immediately when I woke up I texted my brother for an update. She was admitted.

The worst part was being in the hospital to visit someone is feeling helpless for the person you are visiting. I knew what was going through her mind. Knowing that there is no one home for granny. Will the aides know to blend the spinach for her lunch? Do they know which meds to give?

Her wound needs to be changed. Granny needs to be rotated.

It was all so much to think about. and just sit there. not knowing what or how I could be of help.

I wanted to cry because I was thinking of the worse case scenario. but crying wouldn’t solve a thing.

so I sat, and prayed, and waited.

My mom says she’s ok. She was discharged about 6 pm and she’s now home. She has to take the week off from work. But from all this, I’ve learned medial coverage is nothing if someone still has to worry about the bills that will come to their homes after they’ve been serviced. That was all my mom could think about. its why she didn’t go to the hospital after what happened.

Oh, and we found out it wasn’t a stroke. She had a sinus infection and there’s a mass in her brain. They suggested it be monitored and assured us “its nothing”.

And as I am shutting down my mom just told me her headache has returned.

Let us pray.

 

Delving into Deisgn

One of the main reasons I delved into the design world was because of how versatile it is. From illustration to graphics, to engineering and product design, to designing experiences, places, and things – these are just a few capabilities design touches.  Someone decided to pay extra attention and add details that tend to be overlooked.

I also love that to create something compelling, do endless research, and testing to see if something works or fails.

But I’ve failed at testing things. I’ve been wanting to test my knowledge on web design, and haven;t created the space to do that. At times I get overwhelmed with the thought of all the things I’d like to do.

They always say, focus on one thing at a time. I believe this to be true. But we must always make room to implement, test or try some of these things we aspire to do.

365 days later

Last year I set out to write and publish every day for a year.

By July I went out of the country had no buffer to publish automatically and hence decided to write manually.

Most recently, I’ve been writing in my bullet journal doing a few lines a day to reflect and write about how my day went. And now, I’ve decided to write about my health and fitness journey and find ways to combine that with my love of design.

Through the past years, I’ve been writing mainly for myself, but I’d like to switch it up and write to educate and teach, and possibly pair that with video on either youtube or Vimeo.

For me, the common themes through my writing have been about design and fine art and health and fitness.

My favorite writers or blog sites would have to be

Candice Marie’s Young yet wise – teaching Millenials about finance and advocating a wealth.

Seth Godin – A marketing wizard, but his emails are thought provoking and they come in every day.

James Clear – who speaks on habits and improving life incrementally.

Overall I do enjoy the act of writing, it’s just that I now want it to have more sustenance and value to whom ever comes across it.

I’ve really wanted to get better at documenting, and story telling. I wanted to document my journey to IDEO and well – I’m still not there yet.

I’ve been so fearful and playing terrible scenes in my head.

I am choosing to be conscious and take action toward creating more.

What does this mean for the blog?

I will go back to posting once a week. In a few weeks, I’m actually headed out to Austin for seanwes Conference. I’ll be sure to Vlog my experience! and write a blog post about it.

Pen Pals

Let me tell you, the best thing you can do as a creative is to continue to find ways to continue to create.

Point Blank Period.

Currently, I am in the process of taking Lauren Homs’ Passion To Paid course. I wish I stumbled upon this earlier but I am really excited to see what comes of it. It’s Ten weeks long, we are invited to her private group and there is a push to be creative and explore.

Continue reading

Cleaning House

Today is Labor Day.

And I decided to work. I cleaned out my room and did laundry. I’ve lost count how many loads but in the back of my mind all  I could think of was

  1. when will it end
  2. when did I get all these clothes and
  3. Can I still fit this?

Last week Wednesday I went to the doctor’s office and got news about my health. There’s huge possibility that I may have a thyroid problem.

Growing up my mom used to tell me about all the issues she had health wise. Her thyroid was one of them. She told me how she always had cold feet. Throughout the past years, I’ve had cold feet, or I’m always complaining about how cold I am in the work place office, and everyone just looks at me like I’m crazy.

I’m extremely worried.

And I know I have to make better decisions – otherwise, nothing will change. I’ve found it very difficult to stay committed to working out – especially if I’m going to bed super late.

In the previous years that wasn’t a problem for me.

I had a routine in place – but what’s been difficult is getting a new regimen and routine in place that I could actually commit to.

Currently, I am working two jobs, and taking on freelance clients. I simply need to better manage my time.

I believe this includes eliminating unproductive tasks and events that do not contribute toward my goal.

Today,  I was listening to James Clear on youtube about several keystone habits and how to go about implementing them. It gives me hope again that all is not lost when it comes to health.

I was also listening to a YouTuber when she compared fitness, growth, and contentment. If you plant a seed you don’t get mad that the seed isn;t a plant over night. You know it takes time to grow, and in the same way, weight loss health or anything else for that matter takes time to change.

If you are interested in seeing my fitness journey follow me on Instagram @doniagetsfit

I’ve also been thinking about documenting with youtube…

If you are into health and fitness and know of ways to reverse health issues feel free to connect and comment below.

Passion Projects

It’s been a while since I’ve been excited to create and see what could come of a passion project. Currently, I’m taking an online course and the intro to it has been really good. So far we’ve focused a great deal on ourselves for inspiration. It’s been very eye opening in the sense of being honest with myself, and a subtle awakening that feels like, ”

It’s been very eye opening in the sense of being honest with myself, and a subtle awakening that feels like, ” Hey, you aren’t living life. You are just getting by. ” This is something I said I’d never do.

This week we are tapping into our emotions and feeling the feels – good, bad, happy, sad, and everything in-between.

I really am excited to see what comes of this.

feelings of inadequacy

Before I left for Haiti one of my financial supporters told me about how she felt called to do more Missions work. She was reading,  “40 Days of Purpose” by Rick Warren. I was excited for her because I recall my church going through that with small groups, however, at the time I was away in college.

I decided to pick up the audio book and go through the book. It gave insight about how to find your purpose and even more so why you shouldn’t feel purposeless. Yet here I am feeling like crap and like I’m not working up to my best potential.

I read articles from IDEO and see how they talk about embracing creativity, ambiguity, doing more and talking less – yet I continue to feel inadequate, and far from what they are looking for in a designer.

Especially after having a terrible review from my place of employment that made me feel like my character, and work ethic was less than.

Often times I consider returning to grad school, but I think about the expense that comes with it. I don’t want to be in debt all my life.

As a designer, it’s difficult to be confident when you have people constantly critiquing your work. It’s difficult to get beyond the criticism when it’s done in vain or to tear you down. Ultimately I want to know that the work I create glorifies Christ, and edifies those around me.

And yet I think even more, and I question and wonder am I thinking far too much about myself? I entered design because I believed it could change peoples lives. Yet it seems like such a difficult thing to do. I wanted this journey to take a year but I am seeing that is likely not going to be the case.

I hate feeling that one job can dictate where you head next in your career. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t believe in mixing pleasure with business.

Never have I been so doubtful and fearful to make a move in my life, feeling stuck and without a plan. My ambitions often feel too grand for this life.