I Was Laid Off Yesterday

It took a little while for the shock to wear off. I went into the office and completed part of a project, then around 10 am I was called into the conference room. I had a cup of peppermint tea with me. There was a folder on one side of the desk and another folder on the other. My stomach instantly sank.

My supervisor already had a few people on the call, and they walked me through the items of the folder. I didn’t have any words or any questions. I have yet to really look at the folder again either. By 11:30 I was home and sat in my car for a little bit.

They often say, “when one door closes another opens”. But I’ve been here before, it took more than three months for another door to open. Only this time it’s a little different. I could feel this door closing and I was hoping to make it until October 2020.

My thoughts since yesterday have touched on worthiness, self-worth, the purpose of work, and today I found myself grieving one of my fondest family members and friends. I instantly knew how he felt when he was laid off. Last week I was thinking of submitting my resume to another company and this week I found myself stumped.

I thanked my supervisor for the opportunity. I had already begun to take my personal items home - and I never kept too many items with me in the office anyway. I wanted to take the time to reflect and really think about my next moves.

I have thirty more days of health insurance - so I must see my endocrinologist soon. I’ve canceled my membership with my personal trainer. Next is to contact my student loans and credit card companies. It was hard for me to sleep last night, and this morning while making breakfast I forgot to put the eggs in my pancake mix. By the time I remembered I was already putting my last spoon filled batch onto the pan.

My husband and I spoke about the bills. And now, I just need a bit more time to process. I have two places in mind to apply to. My background is eclectic when it comes to my work experience but I am always reminded I do good work. The one common thing that all employers have is customers or clients. And serving them well has always been my top priority.

I hope by Monday I am clear-headed and can focus on the next few things to come.