Straight Talk – My Dad Wasn't Around

So while I don’t subscribe to everything or anything, this question that Tony Robins presented in his seminar caught me off guard. (Saw his film/documentary on Netflix). So when I had some down time I wrote this in my DayOne journal app. Who did you have to be since your father wasn’t around? 

The following answer is how I felt, especially with the double standards I come across and the encounters I’ve had in life. As I talked with a friend tonight they mentioned the best writing comes from the heart. Judge all you want, but here’s my response: 

I had to be the reliable one. The independent one. The resourceful one. The level headed one. The successful one. The vibrant one. 

In turn I became the burdened one. The one with all the internal baggage. The one that lashed out uncontrollably. The insecure one. The one that lacks confidence. The one that knows she’s pretty but doesn’t believe she is. 

I became the overly talented over looked woman. Fearful of becoming another statistic, a loud mouthed chick from the ghetto not knowing how to act around nobody type of girl. 

Let me be clear: None of these titles describe who I am today. 

I’m a woman seeking to show love in the most authentic ways possible. To connect with people on a visceral level, to contribute to causes and create everlasting positive impacts in people’s lives, to help inspire others through design, service and leadership. Through grit and working hard – all because I’ve found the love of God.  

There was no way for me to choose where I grew up. That was the hand I was delt. The only thing I can do is make the best of it. And I believe I did. The downfall – if that – was internalizing the negativity I was exposed to due to where I grew up. The constant negativity was pushed upon students from teachers that taught in the district just for the money. They saw us as “another statistic”. It’s all too common that when I say where I’m from there’s a response of, “oh you speak so eloquently “😶 ….. not every black child from Newark (or what’s know to be rough underprivileged parts of the US) is un-educated. 

Better yet this girl right here sums it all up perfectly. 

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