Revisiting the list

Right before I graduated college my advisor had me make a very very long list of all – and I mean ALL the things I had and interest in. Most recently – and I mean in like the past few weeks- I’ve been experimenting with the various art forms known to be the basics and fundamentals in drawing and design school. 

Narrowing down – or niching down has been a very difficult thing for me. I find that I still enjoy drawing. However working as a professional package designer by day- there aren’t many moments in which the actor drawing occurs. 

I fact I find that I am often in a mental toxic cycle of beating myself up. There are negative words and comments cycling faster than a hamster in a wheel. I know many creatives battle with this. We call it imposter syndrome, or feeling like a fraud – but it’s true. Too often we question our actions expecting someone to dislike our work. 

This evening I took another skillshare class with Ohn Mar Win, illustrator and designer. It surprised me how many times she mentioned to be kind to yourself, have fun, your sketchbook is a place without judgement. 

I can’t remember the last time I kept a sketchbook consistently. It’s often for a few days and it falls by the way side. We’ve adapted to use Instagram or dribbble as our new space to share creative work. Yet I found that I really needed time and space away from the digital screen. 

In my day job I am either in my feet creating samples for production or for the client or I’m at my desk figuring out how to complete a project for a display. Despite how often I’ve been told “it’s so creative” from people on the outside I can’t help but feel different. 

The client has specific needs they are looking for, there are many restrictions, so to have a space where freedom really comes to fruition makes sense for it to be the sketchbook. 

Ohn makes it a point to encourage her students to practice daily even if just for five minutes. And to draw from observation or from things that interest you. If a time restraint needs to be added it’s encouraged to see just how much can be done in about 15 min. 

As for myself, I’ve been switching back and forth between acrylic paint and water color. I don’t have specific subjects – though I’ve wanted to do a series on my Facebook friends. 🤔 I’m still debating that one as if I choose to do that, I’d need a projector so that I can go through quickly with a base sketch rather than sit and use a grid to ensure proper sizing and proportions. 

As I paint and draw I am in a much clearer mental state. I’m not thinking of too much. I am looking forward to getting into my flow state. 

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