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Life Mission, Goals and Death

About a week ago I hopped on a Google plus hangout call with a good friend of mine and a few other ladies. She had us answer a few questions about our life mission, our goals and death. 

First a personal story about why death is so prominent right now. 

Death has been prominent on my mind since my grandmother illness with Alzheimer’s disease. It is difficult because we – the family, knows she is going to die – we all have an expiration date. We just assume that we will die of old age and someone will be there to care for us. My grandmother had 11 children and she never let us forget how many she had. My mother decided to be the primary care giver and for the most part it’s difficult. My mom can’t travel too far, stay out too long, and can hardly trust anyone to do the job well. 

Let’s face it – no one wants to clean up someone else’s feces, many people become impatient with feeding, and moving around dead weight is far from easy. (Especially if you don’t have the strength to do so). 

The one death that has been traumatic for me was losing my uncle. He died of lung cancer I believe. It was traumatic because I had never seen my mom react the way she did. The screaming and hollering, crying and state of depression- it’s believed that my uncles death was so shocking to my grandma, and that caused her to have Alzheimer’s disease. Not too sure about that though. So one of the questions that was sent to us: 

How would I live if I knew I’d be dead in six months?

Oh Shit! 

I’m Dying. 

First, I’d let each and every family member know that I love them. I’d do more of the things that scare me – Like going sky diving. And scuba diving. And a ride in a helicopter. The things I’d regret is not having started family, and being married. I’d regret not being able to travel with my mom, or seeing her fulfill her dream of having a successful sewing business where she could work from home. 

I’d regret not having done collaborations with my family and friends that are designers, writers and speakers and entrepreneurs. I realize that I would be leaving nothing behind. No quality of inheritance, my mom would be left to finish paying off my student loan debt (she was a consigned and I’m sure they wouldn’t let her be). There would be many things left unfinished – like some of my art pieces, and my personal writings. I’d regret not publishing a book or an autobiography of my life. We get to read about such great people from the past and the things they overcame. I believe it’d be wise to share mine as well. 

I believe God put me here to accomplish a mission. I’d like to write about that mission and share it with others. I’d regret not having seen my brothers marriage flourish, to see him and his wife overcome the battles they go through. To see my mom truly happy and over come her relationship issues. I’d like to see my sister have a successful side hustle with make up atistry and music. 

I would no longer allow what people thought of me to hold me back. I’d push harder to achieve my life mission….. 

As I wrote about all the things I’d regret, and how I’d life differently it made me realize I need to live life now. To quit worrying about who’s watching me, what they will say, to continue to build up the courage that has been inside all along and go about my business. 

It’s crazy because most people would rather watch someone else’s progress than to work on their own self development. 

While I haven’t fully defined my life mission there are a few things I’d like to accomplish: 

  • Develop a design scholarship for someone in need – a full ride. I think I’d be in a different head space if I didn’t have to work and go to class while in college. It did give me a different perspective and step up to responsibility, I could have worked a little less and focus a bit more on my core courses. 
  • Buy a house in cash. I’ve seen my mom struggle with finances and I know that is not a place I’d like to be. I want to will be debt free by 2018. When the time comes to buying a house I’d like to do so in cash. 
  • Travel more. You don’t realize how much of a bubble you are in until you travel. I’d really like to get into missionary work and use my design skills in some way. Still working on that one but how’s the saying, “if there’s a will there’s a way.” 

Thanks Candice for the inspiration on this post. #hustle 

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