Alzheimer's Disease

My Grandmother is 73 years old and she has Alzheimer’s Disease. It is a very hard thing to watch. At times there are some moments of humor, but for the most part, its very difficult. Its like watching a loved one deteriorate right before your eyes. I see her, my grandmother and I think of all the things that she has done for me, my family and all of her children. It saddens me sometimes at the outcome of this disease. But I still love my grandmother. She has a very huge heart. She has this baby doll that she treats like a real child. If you grab it from her, her facial expression would show “why would you do that to my baby”, as she struggles to communicate and talk to you. Her words are now jumbled up and we cannot really understand what she says. There are times where you cn understand her but for the most part you can’t.

I know that we shouldn’t question the Lord for his actions and why he chooses to do what he does, but I know that my grandmother was a woman of great faith, and she still is. There are times where she still calls on Him and I think that the Lord takes that as praise.

I am blessed and Highly favored because the trials and struggles we encounter through life is what makes our experiences worth while. Its what we learn from. Its what we talk about. and that is LIFE…..

Canela… Giggles


so with the way the economy has been there is just no place for me to get hired is there? I have been applying from place to place and I really want to work in something close to my field but so far NO LUCK! It sucks because I want to do something fun, out of the ordinary you know? but with out money the only free places that I know of are the park, the beach, the church and other peoples house! (as long as food is provided i see no harm!) If any one out there knows how to make money from nothing please help a SISTAH out!! I really need to find a way! My phone lines cannot get shut off!

Its plural because I pay for my mothers phone bill. Aren’t I a great child? Okay thats all for now!

I am ME

When I was in middle school, I joined this group called sister hood. I don’t know why I joined it but I did, and they had us recite this poem before each session….. I think it means more to me now than it did back in the seventh grade.

by Virginia Satir

Virginia came to write this poem when she was working with an angry fifteen-year-old girl
who had a lot of questions about herself and what life meant.

I am me.

In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.

There are persons who have some parts like me,

but no one adds up exactly like me.

Therefore, everything that comes out of me

is authentically mine because I alone choose it.

I own everything about me

my body including everything it does;

my mind including all its thoughts and ideas;

my eyes including the images of all they behold;

my feelings whatever they may be…







my mouth and all the words that come out of it


sweet or rough,

correct or incorrect;

my voice loud or soft.

And all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.

I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.

I own all
my triumphs and successes,

all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me.

By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts.

I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,

and other aspects that I do not know.

But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,

I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles

and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think
and feel at a given moment in time is me.

This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time.

When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I
thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.

I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting,

And invent something new for that which I discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.

I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,

and to make sense and order out of the world of people
and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.

I am me and I am okay.


Talk about ambition, inspiration and everything else in between…. I was in the City today to volunteer with the IDSA group for ICFF. This is my second time going and all i can say is that i was inspired. It makes me so excited to really get out into my feild and do the hands on work that peopel will eventually want to buy. My old university was there, Montclair State and I have to shout them out because they are truely moving forward! They were able to present their own work as exhibitors. I as a student was truely impressed. I was told that they mad many many contacts! I plan to keep intouch with them as well!

Random Moment

SO, should be doing homework right now, but I am currently blogging…. however I will get to that when I am done. MY goals for the summer:
get a car
make money
practice practice PRACTICE drawing, sketching, knitting, crochet, calligraphy, design and AIRBRUSH!
thats all for now……

Peace love and Blessings



Two Choices

Two Choices

What would you do?….you make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line,
there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made
the same choice?
At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning
disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that
would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the
school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature
does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do.He cannot
understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?’

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued.

‘I believe that when a child like
Shay,who was mentally and physically
disabled comes into the world,
an opportunity to realize true human
nature presents itself, and it comes
in the way other people treat that child.’

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park
where some boys Shay knew were
playing baseball. Shay asked,
‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’

I knew that most of the boys would
not want someone like Shay
on their team, but as a father I
also understood that if my son were
allowed to play, it would give him a
much-needed sense of belonging and
some confidence to be accepted by
others in spite of his handicaps..

I approached one of the boys on the
field and asked (not expecting much)
if Shay could play. The boy looked
around for guidance and said, ‘We’re
losing by six runs and the game is in
the eighth inning. I guess he can be
on our team and we’ll try to put him
in to bat in the ninth inning.’

Shay struggled over to the team’s
bench and, with a broad smile, put
on a team shirt. I watched with a small
tear in my eye and warmth in my
heart. The boys saw my joy at my son
being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning,
Shay’s team scored a few runs but
was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning,
Shay put on a glove and played in the
right field. Even though no hits came
his way, he was obviously ecstatic just
to be in the game and on the field,
grinning from ear to ear as I waved
to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning,
Shay’s team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was
on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to
win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.

Everyone knew that a hit was all but
impossible because Shay didn’t even
know how to hold the bat properly,
much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the
plate, the pitcher, recognizing that
the other team was putting winning
aside for this moment in Shay’s life,
moved in a few steps to lob the ball
in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung
clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly
towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung
at the ball and hit a slow ground
ball right back to the pitcher..

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft
grounder and could have easily
thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the
ball right over the first baseman’s
head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to
first! Run to first!’

Never in his life had Shay ever run
that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and
struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards
second base, the right fielder had the
ball . the smallest guy on their team
who now had his first chance to be the
hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the
second-baseman for the tag, but he
understood the pitcher’s intentions so
he, too, intentionally threw the ball
high and far over the third-baseman’s

Shay ran toward third base deliriously
as the runners ahead of him circled
the bases toward home.

All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay,
all the Way Shay’

Shay reached third base because the
opposing shortstop ran to help him by
turning him in the direction of third
base, and shouted, ‘Run to third!
Shay, run to third!’

As Shay rounded third, the boys
from both teams, and the spectators,
were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay,
run home! Run home!’

Shay ran to home, stepped on the
plate, and was cheered as the hero
who hit the grand slam and won the
game for his team

‘That day’, said the father softly
with tears now rolling down his face,
the boys from both teams helped
bring a piece of true love and humanity
into this world’.

Shay didn’t make it to another summer.

He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making
me so happy,and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her
little hero of the day!


We all send thousands of jokes through
the e-mail without a second thought,
but when it comes to sending messages
about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace,
but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our
schools and workplaces.

If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that
you’re probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren’t
the ‘appropriate’ ones to receive this type of message Well,the person
who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities
every single day to help realize the
‘natural order of things.’

So many seemingly trivial interactions
between two people present us with a

Do we pass along a little spark of
love and humanity or do we pass up
those opportunities and leave the
world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society
is judged by how it treats it’s least
fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Delete

2. Forward

And May your day, be a Shay Day.

(obviously this was not written by me, I’m just posting this).

Peace Love and Blessings



Roller Coaster of Emotions

So this is my third year in college and my first year at Rochester Institute of Technology. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions from day one. I don’t know what to do with my self. My main focus is on Graduation, that day when I get to walk across the stage and grab that fake degree, all so that my family and friends can witness the whole reason of me being in school. Not to mention the benefits of paying back all the loans and money needed to get that one little piece of paper! But what about the whole journey before getting to that stage? I thought college was supposed to be the best of experiences in your life. (I had lots of fun at my old university!) One thing for sure I don’t find that here upstate and I truly don’t know what to do to make my world a better place. I just want to be finished with school. I thought I wanted to get my Masters Degree and now I’m thinking twice. I feel so miserable and I don’t know how to overcome this feeling. I really don’t want to be in school for three more years STILL aiming for my BACHELORS DEGREE! For real man I want to accomplish much more in life, and if I wait for three more years I will then be 24 with my first bachelors degree!

Jesus I am calling on you to help me get through these obstacles and I know that you work miracles! SO PLEASE!!!!!

I know this blog is on the negative side, but this was me venting…… AAAHHHHH ok I think tomorrow will be a greater and much better day, I’m aiming for that.

Until then

Peace Love and Blessings




I feel great. GREAT I SAY! I wish everyone could understand my excitement and the energy that I have right now. I feel so Blessed to understand what it is that the Lord Jesus has done for me! ( Not to mention everyone else). During service I lifted up my voice and my hands praising God and sometimes others around you just don’t understand because they don’t know your personal story, they don’t know what the Lord has brought you through. But when you can relate, when those words you are singing say what is in your heart all you can do is PRAISE HIM!
To God be the Glory, for only He understands what is in my Heart!



Peace Love and Blessings

So much for, "Until Tomorrow"

Well, hello there! I know I said I would like to continue to write, and I have been, just not online. I’ve been keeping a journal and writing in that instead of publishing everything on the world wide web. 🙂 I hope to be able to blog about something important and be consistent so I am currently still looking for that ‘Topic’. I am sure that eventually it will come. Besides this blogging is for fun, for those times where you find you have absolutely nothing better to do. I am waiting for my next class to start and until next time,

Peace and Blessings



New Year, More Knowledge, and Better Things To Come.

Hi! and welcome to my blog page! This is something new for me and I figured I just wanted to start writing again. I miss writing! You get caught up in so many things that you never get the chance to write your expression in words. I miss doing that so I figure why not start now!!! At the start of the New Year! Just to put out a disclaimer I am not a professional writer! However, I do love to read and I also love the fact that there are so many words to choose from to say one thing!

I hope I do get many many readers! Until Tomorrow!